Wednesday, 8 October 2014

BLOG TOUR: LOCKE BY HARPER SLOAN @harpersloan


Locke (Book Five) The Corps Security Series





B & N: TBD
iTunes: TBD
RELEASE DATE: September 29th, 2014


A Potion of Locke’s Sales will be donated to the Semper Fi Fund

Blurb
Darkness is the only thing I see. Ever since the day my life changed. The day that everything and everyone I held close to me ceased to exist. The day I lost it all and the demons of my past consumed my every waking moment.

I tried to keep others at arm’s length. Tried not to let my darkness taint them. Ruin them. Harm them. And whether I want to admit it or not, as much as I wish I could keep them locked out, they refuse to leave. Refuse to let me suffer alone.

If I hadn’t been so focused on keeping those demons from flying free, I wouldn’t have missed how one perfect angel was able to sneak her way under my skin—refusing to let go. Making me want things I don’t deserve.

She consumes me. Her beauty knows no end. The love she promises tempts me every time she’s near. But that pure heart that makes her MY Emmy is the one thing I’m convinced I’ll destroy if I ever let her close.

I’m a broken man. A broken man with too much darkness in his soul to ever let her light shine upon me. But even that doesn’t stop me from craving her with every single breath in my body.

**This is the final book in the Corps Security series. This book is not suitable for younger readers. There is strong language, adult situations, and some violence.*



REVIEW BY MAZZY BOSS LADY

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

****I received an arc in exchange for an honest review****

This is the last book in the series and I wasnt disappointed. Harper has written a story that is fantastic and a fitting end to the series.

Locke or Locke how I loved him.

A fantastic plot and characters, you really need to read this series





Prologue—Maddox
Six weeks.  It’s been over a goddamn month since Emmy ran from me. 
Just gone.
It took me three days to find her—thanks to the tracking device I had placed on her car—down in some small Podunk town in south Florida.  Even if she had been trying to hide, she’d done a shit job of it.  One search for her parents would have brought me right to her.
It took me longer to actually get eyes on her than it had to find her.  She was holed up in some cheap-ass hotel for three weeks.  She called in her meals and never left the room.  And unfortunately, I had to leave and rush home when things out of my control needed attention and I again had to pull Asher’s head out of his ass.  Now I’m back and I’m not leaving until I get my hands on her. 
She doesn’t want to be found.  I know that, but damn if I’m going to let her run off and get away for good.  I’ve pushed and pushed her away.  Every bone in my body has screamed at me to take what she’s been offering for years.  I’ve seen her, I know what she wants, but I won’t let my demons hurt her.  Not my Emmy. 
Since day one, she’s been the greatest temptation, but I refused to take everything innocent that is Emmy and let my blackness take her.  Because that’s what will happen.  It will wrap around her soul and slowly choke the life out of her.  Just like every other person I’ve allowed in. 
I’ll taint her.  I’ll ruin her.  And in the end, it will destroy her.
One smile from her made me fall.  So I pushed her away.  I told her that she would never be what I need—that I would never want her.  God, if she only knew.  I crave her and everything she keeps trying to hand me.  I crave her and everything she could give me.  My very being calls out to her, and I work daily to refuse it.
So I pushed. 
Until she ran.
But that ends right now.
Looking up at the gaudy neon lights thrown on the top of this hellhole, I know that was my first mistake.
SYN.
A motherfucking strip club.
This is not a place where my angel belongs.  Just the thought of her inside this club makes my skin crawl.  I can feel my anger becoming a force of its own as the blackness in my soul threatens to burst through.  It’s burning inside my veins and demanding blood.  My nostrils flare, making my breaths come in loud pants.  My fist clenches—demanding something to pound into, something to destroy.  My skin feels tight.  Every vein in my body is pulsing with each wild beat of my heart.
I’m going to explode.
The bouncer doesn’t even give me a second thought.  He gives me a brief glance as I pay the twenty bucks to gain my access into the hellish place.   I immediately rip my sunglasses off, taking in every inch of the room.  Black walls with dim lighting, stereotypical red carpeting and leather booths lining the room.   They have the name right with the smell of this place—sex and sin with a mixture of smoke and sweat.  There are three stages set up around the room, the center one being the largest and two smaller ones to the left and right, with a bar against the back wall and one on the top floor.  
The whole top-floor bar area is set up on a glass floor, giving these douchebags around the room the perfect view between the barely dressed servers’ legs.  Taking my eyes off the top floor, where the bartenders are clearly working the glass floor to their advantage, I scan the room again, squinting my eyes to see through the dim lighting and heavy smoke. 
That’s when I spot her. 
“What. The. Fuck,” I snarl under my breath.
The anger I felt earlier burning through my body starts to boil.  It’s almost as if my body becomes a force of its own.  The monsters inside me wanting free. 
There she stands, not even five feet away, looking exhausted, wearing next to nothing.  Her skirt—if that’s what you want to call it—is more like a napkin someone cut in half.  From the way she stands—slightly to the side—I can just make out the perfect roundness of her ass peeking out the bottom of the hem.  Her pert tits are pushed together and held in a tight bikini top, the fabric so thin that I can see the outline of her nipples clear as day.
My eyes take in every inch of her exposed skin and I want to roar with rage.
No one should see her like this.  No one but me.  And even though I don’t have the right to feel this way about her, there isn’t a damn thing that can stop me now.
She hasn’t seen me yet, so I stalk over to where she’s standing.  She turns right when I’m about to reach out for her and her eyes go wide, shock and alarm clear in her beautiful, honey-brown eyes.
“Wha—”
“What the fuck are you doing, Em?” I bite out. 
She shrinks back at my tone before she catches herself and goes stiff.  I can tell instantly that I’m not going to like anything she has to say. 
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Emmy.  What in the hell are you doing in this place?”
She tilts her head slightly, taking me in.  Her eyes leave mine and roam the room before she gives a stiff nod.  When she turns her focus back to me, I go stock-still at her words.
“I’m exactly where I should be, Maddox.  I’m home.”  Her tone is submissive, and that fury inside me goes from a boiling fire to ice cold.
With that, she turns and stalks off towards the bar.  And I see that not only is her ass hanging out, but so are her hot-pink boy shorts. 
“Dude.  She’s a fine piece of ass, right?”  The man she was just talking to speaks in awe.
“Shut your fucking mouth,” I growl, feeling that rage return like a switch has been flipped.
“Ah, you’re new here.  Just sit back, my friend, and get ready for the show.”  He laughs, takes a deep pull from his beer, and turns his attention back to the main stage, where the current entertainment is doing her best to swallow the fucking pole with her pussy.  She’s working so hard for it that she might as well be fucking the damn thing. 
I’m no stranger to strip clubs.  Back when the guys were all single, we would hit some local ones around California.  No better way to let off some steam from the shit that is constantly swirling around in my head than to sit in a room full of naked woman.  Where the music pounds into your body, the drinks are always flowing, and the pussy is in abundance. 
One thing’s for sure: This isn’t a place for Emmy.  Hell no.
Without taking my eyes from Emmy, I drop my body into the nearest booth.  She’s in a heated argument with the bartender and an older man who looks about as run-down as this fucking town.  She throws her hands in the air, her head moving wildly, and if I had to guess, her stunning eyes are burning bright.  She points over to me a few times, and all the older man does is shake his head, obviously not giving her what she wants.  I just scowl at them from the booth, waiting for her to walk her ass back over here so I can explain to her that it’s time to go.
“Hey there, handsome,” a raspy voice says to my right.  “Looking for some fun tonight?  I bet a big man like you would be up for something wild.” 
“No.”  I don’t even look at her.  My eyes never leave Emmy—who is now looking at me.  A mix of ire and hurt is written all over her face.  Even with the shit lighting in this place, I can see it…and I hate it.
Fucking hurt?  Is she serious right now?  Pissed I can understand.  She didn’t want to be found and I found her.
“I won’t bite, baby.  That is unless you want me to.”  Her hands snake around my neck and down my chest. 
Turning my attention away from Emmy, I look at the bleach-blonde hair, weathered skin, and fake tan of this bitch in front of me.  I’ll give her credit—she tries to hide it with more than enough makeup for about ten women, but this piece of work in front of me has to be pushing fifty.
“I said no, woman.  What part of that didn’t you understand?  And for the last time, do not touch me.”  I reach up and pull her hand off my stomach before she can go any further.
Moving my eyes back to where I last saw Emmy has me coming up empty.  What the hell?  I scan the room but she is still nowhere to be found.
“Ah, sweet cheeks.  I know what you want.  Good luck with that one.  Rose doesn’t play around, and honey, why would you want her when you can have me?  After all, I taught her everything she knows.”  She leans down and, before I can guess her intent, licks my neck, clearly taking my distraction at her words to her advantage.
I turn swiftly and move into her space, making sure she doesn’t mix this shit up in her head to think that I would somehow ever want her ass.
“Do. Not. Touch. Me.  You got that, sweet cheeks?”
She looks me in the eyes for a few beats before throwing her head back and laughing.  The sound of it hits my ears like nails on a chalkboard.
“Your loss.”
When she walks off, I start my scan of the room again.  No Emmy in sight.  I run my hand over my buzzed scalp before settling in for the wait.
Thirty minutes later and I still haven’t found her.  The crowd is getting restless.  The chicks taking turns on the stage now haven’t been impressive and they undoubtedly want more.  The pole humper has moved on to one of the smaller stages.  The last act on the main stage was slightly better, but all she did was basically finger-fuck herself on the stage before fumbling to get to her feet on her ridiculous heels.
Jesus Christ.
I wait, determined not to leave until I have her with me.  Another thirty minutes and two more rotations on the stages have my frustration levels going up even higher.  How the hell did she just disappear?  I know she didn’t leave.  The tracking device on her car, which is sitting right next to my truck in the parking lot, hasn’t alerted me of any movement.  I’ll be damned if she takes off on me again.
After signaling over another server, I order a beer and check my phone again to make sure the tracker isn’t malfunctioning.  I’m just putting my phone in my pocket when a deep voice cuts over the music. 
“Gentleman of Syn.  It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for.  The one your dicks have been begging for all fucking night.  The Princess of Syn herself.  The one and only, Rose!”
The Princess of Syn?  What an idiot.  I laugh to myself, placing my beer to my lips for a long pull.  The music starts and the first few notes of Lollipop by Framing Hanley fill the air.  Got to give this chick props—at least she picked a good song.
The house lights go down, plunging the room into darkness, before a spotlight hits the main stage.  The smoke clinging to the air gives the stage an eerie glow.  I take my eyes off the action and attempt scan the darkness of the room again for Emmy.  Movement by the back corner catches my attention at the same time that the crowd goes electric.  Idiots start throwing their money left and right, calling to this Princess of Syn to take them.
What morons.
I focus on the corner again and see the blonde from earlier smiling her wicked smile at me before pointing to the stage.  Turning back to the stage, I watch as a woman, who I assume is this so-called princess, spins effortlessly on the pole, her movements all but blurring her body from the men wishing she were spinning on their dicks.  It doesn’t take me long to see why the bitch from earlier is telling me to look. 
With one quick spin, her hands are placed at the center and her legs are spread wide and parallel to the pole, showing off her barely there G-sting, I see my Emmy.  It takes a second for the shock to wear off, and in that second, she gracefully drops from her spin with a guarded smile to the men crowding the stage.  Lifting her small hands from her side, she drags them up her flat stomach to take her tits in hand and jiggles them. 
Fucking jiggles them.
I can’t control my body at this point.  I’m focused on one thing—the best way to get her off that stage and out of this place.
She reaches up and, in a move that is obviously practiced, removes her top, throwing it in to the crowd.  There she dances with her body on display, caressing her naked tits until her nipples pebble.  Turning her back to the room, she bends at the waist and starts to slowly pull her G-sting down her long, toned legs.
This is when the reality of this situation hits me.  I’ll fucking kill all of these motherfuckers in the room.  
Then she drops to her knees before getting on all fours and crawling towards the end of the stage.
Hell.  No.
I’m on my feet in seconds, stalking through the crowd, pushing any man who stands in the way of my woman and me.  I don’t even lift my arms from my side.  I just barrel through the bodies with one goal in mind. 
She doesn’t see me coming since she’s back on her feet and walking to the pole again.  With a leap that would make my high school track coach proud, I’m on the stage, and a second later, I have a naked Emmy thrown over my shoulders before I jump off the stage.  The sharp pain up my leg does nothing to extinguish my determination.
I can see the bouncers coming, and with one hand on her slick ass, I reach out and punch the first one in the face, taking great pleasure watching him instantly buckle to the floor.  The other one comes at me from the side, but he doesn’t get far before I pick up the chair to my left one-handed and crack it against his fucking head.
Emmy is struggling with such vigor that I’m forced to put her down.  She looks up, ready to spit fire at me, before snapping her mouth shut when she sees the expression on my face.  I have no doubt that I look just as feral as I feel.
“Don’t you open that sweet fucking mouth, Emersyn.  I swear to Christ, now is not the time to fucking piss me off any further.” 
I rip my shirt off and roughly pull it over her head.  She struggles and puts up a fight, momentarily distracting me from the third bouncer coming at full throttle.  His fist takes me by surprise, but not for long.  Grabbing her wrist so she doesn’t get away, I turn to the motherfucker stupid enough to get in my way.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” I seethe.
He goes to punch me again, but I duck and pop up before he realizes he failed.  Bringing my head forward, I head-butt him right between the eyes and almost smile when he falls instantly. 
I’m stopped at the door by the last bartender she was speaking with earlier.  He goes to make a move but pulls up when he sees the look in my eyes.  I’ll fucking kill and I’m sure it’s written clear as day on my face.
“Do it.  I dare you.”  My tone leaves no room for argument.  I’m leaving with her and there isn’t a person on this Earth who can stop me.










Addtional Teasers













Additional books in the Corps Security Series 
and Cooper will be on sale throughout the tour!
ONLY $0.99



Axel (bk 1)


Cage (bk 2)


Beck (bk 3)

Uncaged (bk 3.5)

Cooper (bk 4) ONLY $0.99




About the Author:

Harper lives in small town Georgia just a short drive from her hometown of Peachtree City. She (and her 3 daughters) enjoy ruling the house they dubbed 'Estrogen Ocean', much to her husbands chagrin. Harper has a borderline unhealthy obsession with books; you can almost ALWAYS find her with her eReader attached. She enjoys bad reality TV and cheesy romantic flicks. Her favorite kind of hero--the super alpha kind!


Harper started using writing as a way to unwind when the house went to sleep at night; and with a house full of crazy it was the perfect way to just relax. It didn't take long before a head full of very demanding alphas would stop at nothing to have their story told.



GIVEAWAY $50 Gift Card (1 Winner) Signed Copy of Locke (5 Winners) Corps Security Bookmarks (10 Winners)

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BLITZ TOUR: DIRTY LITTLE MISTAKE by Amber Rides




DIRTY LITTLE MISTAKE
Author: Amber Rides
Genre: A New Adult, Contemporary Romance
Series: Dirty Series, Book 2: Standalone novels

~ SYNOPSIS ~

Intended for mature audiences (18 and up) with romantic hearts due to strong language, sexual content, and declarations of love. 

At eighteen, Brenna Cooper turned her back on her boyfriend-hopping, drug-addicted mother. She fought her way from poverty and heartache into a life she's proud to lead. Now twenty-two, Brenna has four years of hard work behind her and a bright future ahead of her. She's careful and cautious and keeps her nose clean. Always. Or almost always anyway. 

Five weeks ago, Brenna received some news that hit her hard and she slipped from the straight-and-narrow path. 

It was just one mistake. 

One party. 

One too many shots of tequila. 

One little one-night stand with her muscle-for-brains neighbor, Ian. 

And it's behind her. 

Or it would be if it weren't for the teeny, tiny matter of the positive pregnancy test. 

Now, Brenna is terrified of following in her mother's footsteps. She needs to tell Ian about the baby. Soon. And she needs help finding a way to do it. 

Ridley James has a shady, crappy decision filled past. He's the first to admit that the ages of thirteen to seventeen were nothing to be proud of. He bounced from foster home to foster home, girl to girl, and fake I.D. to fake I.D. Five years ago, though, his terminally ill aunt took him in and helped him turn his life around. Before she died, she made him promise a few things. Ridley would stay on the clean path she'd led him to. He'd stay out of trouble. Most importantly, though, he'd look out for her son - his cousin - Ian. 

He was doing well. 

Until he and Ian moved into his new house a month and half ago and they met his pretty, sweet - and drunk - neighbor. 

Ridley knows his only choice is to pretend Brenna has no effect on him. Especially since she came flying out of Ian's room the morning after their housewarming party, begging him to forget he ever saw her. 

He was doing fine with that, too. 

Until Brenna came asking for his help - in becoming Ian's girlfriend. 

Now, Ridley is trying to keep his hands and his feelings to himself, struggling to understand why a girl like Brenna is interested in his cousin at all, and fighting to keep his promises to his aunt. 

The closer Brenna gets to Ridley, the farther she gets from making her confession to Ian. The more Ridley gets to know Brenna, the less control he has. 

Both are keeping secrets. And neither is prepared for the truth. 


All books in the Dirty Series are standalone novels with happy endings. The characters may have more stories to tell in the future, but for now, they are spending all their time behind closed doors. For obvious reasons. ;)




~ PURCHASE ~

~ PROLOGUE ~
His hands found her hips and guided over the smooth curves.  It was dark, and this was new, but he was already familiar with every inch of her.  His palms circled to the small of her back, then scooped down to cup her ass possessively.  The flesh there was soft and tender and full enough to make him throb with need.


“I want you.” His voice was husky with desire.


“How do you want me?” she teased.


Her fingers were on his back, tracing the muscles that went from his shoulders to his waist, over and over again in an agonizing motion.


“How don’t I want you?” he groaned.


“Tell me. And I’ll touch you.”


“I want you fast,” he replied, aware that he had answered a little too eagerly, but not caring at all. “And then slow. And fast again.”


Her lips closed over his earlobe and her hand skidded over his abs and down to his thigh.


“I want you on me,” he stated. “I want you underneath me.”


She dragged her fingers up.  They closed over his hard cock and gave it a gentle stroke.  Too gentle.


“I want you to feel me inside you,” he breathed.


She gasped and her grip tightened around his erection.


“I want you like that,” he told her.


She caressed him firmly, perfectly, and he had to rein himself in.


“I want to taste you.”


“Do it,” she teased. “I dare you.”


“Oh you dare me, do you?” he growled.


In a fluid motion, he slid down the bed and rolled her to her back, and nipped playfully at her calves – first one, then the other.  Her knees fell open easily as he worked his way up the entire length of her legs.  When he reached the center, he paused to slide his hands across her stomach, and then brought his thumbs down to meet the wetness between her thighs.


She arched herself against his ministrations because she couldn’t help it.  The circular motion he made over her clit brought on waves of heat, radiating from her core to her skin, then back again. 


She wasn’t sure how much longer she could contain her need.


“I accept your dare. I’m going to taste you. Now,” he announced and his promise made her tremble.


His tongue darted into her, teasing and playing and sucking lightly.  His tempo increased, as did the depth of his exploration.  She cried out as his mouth worked.  A coil built up inside her, tighter and tighter, begging to be released.


And she begged too. “Please! Oh, please!”


His fingers pressed deep into her while his lips clamped down on her now-swollen clit and all at once, her world rocked and then shattered.  He stayed there for a long moment, letting her ride the wave of her orgasm against his hand and his mouth.  When he did release her, she was spent.  Almost empty.


But he didn’t let the emptiness last.  He lifted himself over her and planted a soft kiss on her lips.  She could taste herself on him and warmth immediately shot through her again.  With one hand, he propped himself above her, and with the other, he toyed with her nipple until it ached pleasantly.  Very quickly, her body was on fire once more.


Just when she thought she couldn’t bear the need anymore, he drew back and plunged himself into her.  He pulled back slightly, then drove himself in even further.  She wrapped her legs around his waist and rose to meet him.  Each thrust brought her internal flame higher and higher.  With a final, deep push, he shuddered within her, and in another indescribable burst, she came against him once more.


They collapsed onto the bed together, wrapped in nothing but each other, and fell asleep in a mess of bare legs, satisfied bodies, and contented hearts. 

~ TEASER ~



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LM Creations Designer Blitz


The amazing Louisa of LM Creations is a designing goddess, appropriately named by her mass of clients who are in awe of her phenomenal designing skills and attention to detail.

Enjoy learning a little about Louisa. Check out six (which was crazy-hard for Louisa to limit herself) of her diverse cover designs and get a taste for this designers fabulous talents.

Be sure to enter her wonderful cover design giveaway too. You're going to want to enter this one authors!

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ABOUT L.M. CREATIONS:

L.M. Creations originated accidently from what was merely an avid book lover’s hobby. Louisa of LM Creations is a passionate artist and photographer who enjoys the simplicity of creating and reading. Specialising in portraiture and photography, she aims to bring author’s (the true artists) visions to life by creating unique and tailor-made designs, to ensure your book gets the recognition it deserves. She loves to throw in some quirky author SWAG too.


ACE'S REDEMPTION By A.C. Bextor♥BLOG TOUR @acbextor

Aces Redemption Banner
Title: Ace’s Redemption(Devil’s Despair Book 1)
Author: A.C. Bextor
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: October 2, 2014
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  Aces Redemption cover  
Synopsis
Cherry Memories alone can ruin you. Fear has a paralyzing effect, and love isn’t always enough to keep you safe. Ace was the gateway to a freedom I hadn’t known since I was fifteen. He offered his protection from the demons that haunted me; both living and dead. Although I knew I wasn’t enough to keep him, this didn’t deter my hope that one day he’d love me for who I was, not the broken girl he tried so desperately to save. In the end, the ghosts of my past found me. Their malevolence knew no bounds, and I was forced to succumb to their will of darkness. Each threat named against those I loved made any escape impossible; choosing my life for theirs became my desolate absolution. Inevitably, it was my own weakness and self-doubt that became my undoing. Ace Emotional ties are sometimes severed. Friendships don’t always endure their hardships, and love offered isn’t always returned. I was in love once. For me, leaving her back in Ohio was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. For her, moving on with her life that included her son and the man she loved was no less than she deserved — unconditional happiness. My reasons to bring Cherry home to California were obvious. I needed help with my family, and she needed help staying clean and convincing her parents she was ready to give her son the life he deserved. It was a perfect plan. However, the best laid plans often get lost amidst their best intentions. Cherry fell in love with me, and in return my love for her acted as the catalyst to her destruction. Authors Note: This novel contains material that is not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. Content includes: drug use, explicit language, violence, rape, and other scenarios with content that readers may find offensive. Please use caution when deciding on this book, as every reader has the right to understand the product before purchase. Ace’s Redemption is the first standalone novel in the Devil’s Despair series. Although the main character of Ace was introduced during the Lights of Peril trilogy, you do not need to read that series in order to follow this one.

REVIEW BY MAZZY BOSS LADY

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

****I received an arc in exchange for an honest review****

I was anxiously waiting for this book and do you know what I wasnt disappionted.

This was an extremely intense read, emotional is not the word for it.

I love any book by A.C. Bextor but this is my favourite so far.

You really must read this book, Ace is fantastic, sexy and a perfect book boyfriend.

You must read this.




About The Author
A.C. I love to read! I will read anything, literally. It may be a magazine, book, advertisement or even a cereal box. Specific authors that I follow have moved me to start writing. Before long that inspiration had produced a final product that I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do with. Obviously I hit publish and here I am. Blessed with a great family that includes my husband, four kids, two dogs, and one hedgehog, I’ve lived in the Midwest all of my life. We currently live in a small town outside of Omaha, NE. My day job affords the ability to work from home and I’ve worked for the same lending company for nearly 19 years. When I’m not reading, I try to be outside as much as possible even if it is just sitting on my deck with my reading device. I enjoy fishing, swimming, hockey games, and watching football with the family.
Excerpt
  Turning around, giving me his back, he takes his boots off with one thud, then another, throwing them on the linoleum floor at the doors entrance. “I’m just trying to…” No longer having his eyes bore into me or having to fear the face that’s so angry all the time, I momentarily lose my temper. It’s rare that I do, but at times when I feel safe enough, I let it go. I finish his thought for him. “To protect me! You’re trying to protect me! All the time, as if that’s the only purpose you have. I get it, I do, but I’m not yours to protect. Give yourself a rest, Ace. Let someone else take the load off for a while.” Whipping his head around first, his body immediately follows. He stalks toward me and, it has to be said, when Ace stalks, his large frame comes at you and he stalks. He’s angry. Putting my hand out to stop him from coming any closer, he runs his chest into it. “Ace, I don’t want to sound ungrateful…” “Know what I did all day today? Do you have any fuckin’ idea the day I had today, worrying, waiting, wondering? I thought, for six fucking hours, of ways to protect you. How I could keep you safe from all the Greysons, Vinnies, and bar idiots of this world. You have me going nuts here. Last night, Cherry…” His voice changes octaves, anger to concern, “you were so scared and I was helpless to save you from those nightmares. Nightmares that those kinds of men caused you.” I don’t say anything; he’s calming down, and anything I may say to try to make this easier for him could upset him further. Before I can think of anything to add, he shocks me with his statement. “Sadey’s gone.” Since I don’t know where this is coming from, I stand still in front of him, looking up. His eyes are glassy; evidently, he’s thought about a lot today while I was gone. “I can’t have her. I never could.” His hand reaches out to touch my neck, his fingertips tracing the dip at the bottom of my throat. Finally, a small tear releases from his eye and drops down his face, quickly falling to his shirt. “I’m letting her go, Cherry. I am. But…” he smiles, but it’s a stressful and upsetting smile hiding his sadness. “I’m doin’ it knowin’ I was the only one holding on.” “I’m sorry.” He’s broken. This large man in front of me is so broken, by mostly self-inflicted hurt, but in so much pain nonetheless. Realization is dawning that no matter what he does, he’s powerless. Ace doesn’t do well with the feeling that goes along with being helpless. Powering through his tortured admission, he continues. “I thought, while you were out with Trav, that I would have to let you go, too. It’s stupid and ridiculous, but it’s the truth. I swear, I’m telling you the truth.”
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