Tortured (Tortured, #1) by Kate Givans
A contemporary romantic drama about loss, healing, and love's ability to reach beyond scars and secrets, no matter how deep or hidden.
WARNING: This book is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. Potentially triggering content and concepts in books to follow.
More than a year after the death of his best friend, Josh is still tormented by the past. Everything changes when free-spirited Willow barges into his life. She challenges him, helps him feel something other than the overwhelming pain, sadness, and anger.
There’s just one problem.
Underneath that carefree spirit, Willow is elusive and secretive. Josh believes she may be fighting a few demons of her own, but he harder he tries to uncover the truth, the more she pushes him away.
Can Josh get her to open up before it’s too late? Or will he discover that some secrets are better left untold?
WARNING: This book is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. Potentially triggering content and concepts in books to follow.
More than a year after the death of his best friend, Josh is still tormented by the past. Everything changes when free-spirited Willow barges into his life. She challenges him, helps him feel something other than the overwhelming pain, sadness, and anger.
There’s just one problem.
Underneath that carefree spirit, Willow is elusive and secretive. Josh believes she may be fighting a few demons of her own, but he harder he tries to uncover the truth, the more she pushes him away.
Can Josh get her to open up before it’s too late? Or will he discover that some secrets are better left untold?
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Excerpt
I was still trying to sort out the opening when a knock came at my door. My heart flipped for a few rapid beats. The only person it could be would be appalled by how bad I’d let the mess get.
“Hold on, Mom!” I yelled at the door.
Completely abandoning the trash bag, I started stuffing pizza boxes, empty chip bags, snack cake wrappers, and soda cans into the cabinets and drawers, under the couch, into the entertainment center – basically anywhere they would fit. The pounding was getting louder, most likely because my mom both worried and annoyed about being left out in the cold to wait.“Coming!” I hollered, making my way to the door, glancing around the apartment quickly. I still had a sink full of dishes, but at least the mess was contained t just one area. “I’m okay, Mo---“
The rest of my sentence fell flat when I pulled the door open. If it had been summer, a fly probably would have flown in my mouth. Standing there on my doorstep was the last person I ever would have expected to see.
“Willow?”
“Expecting someone else?” Annoyance plagued her furrowed features, but I could tell she was trying to suppress a smile. Satisfaction at surprising me, maybe?
“Uh, no. Not really. I just…”
“Didn’t expect to see me?”
Heat rising in my neck and spreading through my cheeks, I stumbled through my words, racking my brain for any excuse that sounded at least somewhat plausible. “No…I mean, uh—I did, just. I—“
“Forgot?” She lifted one perfectly shaped eyebrow at me.
“Yeah. Forgot.” A lie, but it was better than trying to explain the truth.
Her lips scrunched together and moved back and forth for a second as she chewed it over. Apparently, she’d decided it was sufficient enough; that grin that she’d been suppressing went on full display. I couldn’t help but notice how much her smile magnified the intense sparkling of her eyes.
“Well, no worries! I’m here now!” she exclaimed, stepping through the doorway, not even waiting for me to invite her in. She stopped in the middle of my living/dining area to face me. “You ready?” Still holding the door open, letting the cold air in, I stood there, staring at her like my brain had taken a vacation.
Besides being dumbfounded as to how she’d found me, I was extremely uncomfortable about having her in my apartment. I hadn’t had a girl there in…well, never, unless you counted my mom and Brad’s girlfriend, which I didn’t. And I didn’t even know this girl, which made the entire thing awkward and wrong on so many levels. But somewhere else, somewhere deep inside, it almost felt right, like she somehow belonged there.
Shaking the ridiculous thought from my head, I found my voice. “Uh-sure…just...give me a sec.” She nodded her silent response and then took to looking at the various posters hanging on my walls.
Even in an alternate universe, no good could come from having this mess of a girl in my apartment. But I was going to go with her, it seemed, despite my own best advice to steer clear of all things Willow. I guess it got her out of my place, at least. After that…I’d find a way to get her out of my head and out of my life.
That’s what I told myself, anyway.
“No rush,” she called over her shoulder as I made my way to the bedroom.
Sorting through the pile of clothes on my bed, I tossed half of them on the floor again. They would have ended up there eventually anyway. I eventually decided on a white and navy blue striped long-sleeve polo. After pulling my t-shirt over my head, I tossed it on the floor and then pulled on the polo. I was just fixing the hem when I had the distinct feeling of being watched.
I turned to look at the door, which I’d stupidly left open. Leaning against the frame, Willow stood there, looking at me, a stupid smirk on her face. “Don’t you ever knock?” I asked, heat warming my ears.
“The door was open. I was just going to ask you if you had any water.” She pointed in the direction of the kitchen before crossing her arms over her chest. “I wasn’t expecting a show.” Her eyes swept over me, head to toe, giving me the sense that she’d been trying to undress me with her eyes. I didn’t know if I should be flattered or embarrassed.
This wasn’t a new conflict. Even though I’d only just met her, I always felt this internal struggle when she was around. It was worse when she focused those eyes on me, giving me the sense that she could see right through me. Maybe that was what she wanted me to think. Or maybe I was going crazy. Or maybe two years of not getting laid was starting to really wear on me.
Willow didn’t really seem like my kind of girl – trailer park, too comfortable around guys, always into trouble. And I wasn’t the kind of guy to just use women for sex. In fact, I could count the women I’d been with on one hand – two in high school and one in college, all three former girlfriends that I’d dated for no less than six months. But I couldn’t deny that there was something there with her. I thought about her when she wasn’t around, and whenever she landed in my path, I foundmyself agreeing to spend time with her, even though I was sure I didn’t want to.
“Um, earth to Josh!”
Great, now I was getting lost in my own head. “Sorry, what?”
“Water?”
“Oh, yeah. In the fridge.”
She disappeared from the doorway. A few seconds later, I heard the fridge door open. In just a few more, she was leaning in the doorway of my bedroom again. At least my body wasn’t on display this time.
“So…just wondering…how did you know where I live?” I asked, shoving my feet into a pair of Doc Martins.
Willow took a big swig of water before answering. “A stalker never reveals her secrets.”
Playlist:
Shinedown, Save Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8dyxGiBx3g
The Fray, You Found Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFg_8u87zT0
Get Scared, Built for Blame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k82La8Lkra8
3 Doors Down, So Far Down: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDK5qGlLT8s
Bush, Greedy Fly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FExyoAh6Ng
Nickleback, Savin’ Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JQiEs32SqQ
Stone Sour, Bother: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-pXD0FXLQ8
Papa Roach, Scars: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHbNU9WuVgw
The Fray, How to Save a Life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjVQ36NhbMk
Coldplay, Fix You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbJuEFs7-kU
Imagine Dragons, Demons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWRsgZuwf_8&feature=kp
Jasmine Thomspon, Everybody Hurts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWGL3SbhLDQ
Seether, Fade Away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNgQr_FdZvE
Goo Goo Dolls, Before It’s Too Late: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtSAIhP1-5s
Sick Puppies, All the Same: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs72v-2zjsg
John Legend, All of Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg
Hoobastank, Lucky: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0M1lhBLbeU
Adelitas Way, Alive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRs-1QVo4_M&feature=kp
Evanescence, Bring Me to Life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM
Little Green Cars, The John Wayne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJEVkuNsEi0
Breaking Benjamin, Diary of Jane: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWaB4PXCwFU
Fireflight, Desperate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQctVDvIFWg
Lynard Skynard, Free Bird: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np0solnL1XY
Goo Goo Dolls, Here is Gone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNtN83-vQmw
3 Doors Down, Let Me Go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thc1MtNagC8
The Fray, Never Say Never: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aihu16RyYp8
Art of Dying, Die Trying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFlVi9MHpDc
Author Q &A:
What made you decide you wanted to be a writer?
Deep down, I think I’ve always known. I started reading at four. When I was seven, I wrote my first book. It was a short, adorable little thing that I wrote for my mom. Along the way, I lost sight of that – maybe it was the responsibility of being a mom, or the idea that I was supposed to grow up and do the responsibility thing. Whatever the case, it kind of got buried in day to day life. Then, after my mother passed away, I found mybook in her things. It all came flooding back, but again, I tossed it aside, figuring it was just too late. It wasn’t until I met my best friend that all that changed. I learned about Indie publishing and fell in love instantly.
How would you describe your books, in a nutshell?
Dark, twisty, angsty, with a lot of heart and a peppering of romance. That may change as I go along, but it definitely fits most of my current writing.
What has been your biggest struggle when it comes to writing and publishing?
I have to say my biggest struggle has been believing in myself enough to actually do it. At first, I wasn’t really sure I could tell a story that anyone else would enjoy. Plus, I’ve always beenoversensitive, so the fear of rejection kind of kept me frozen for a few years. Thankfully, I’ve had some pretty amazing people in my life that believed in me until I could do it for myself.
Where do you draw your writing inspiration from?
Honestly, there’s not any one place that I find inspiration. It’s more of a conglomeration of personal experience, music, cinema, pop culture, books, and random ideas that seem to come out of nowhere. Each piece of the puzzle seems to play its own little role in the writing process for me.
Do you share any traits, characteristics, or traits with any of your characters?
Admittedly, I do. While each and every one of them is different, I find that I share certain struggles, personality traits, or nuances with most of my characters. And in so many ways, they teach me lessons about myself. I learn from them - the things they endure and somehow manage to overcome, the truths that they come to see and believe about the world around them or themselves. It’s a very interesting process, to say the least.
Do you have any favorite authors?
I do! But I have entirely too many to mention! Not just because I don’t want to exclude anyone, but also because I don’t read just one particular genre of book. I have my dark and twisty, contemporary, my guilty erotica reads, romance, zombies…needless to say, I’m extremely eclectic in my reading tastes.
Author Bio: 
Quirky, clumsy, and always a little off-key, Kate Givans has always loved books and the words contained within. Now that she’s writing the stories, she’s filling them with broken characters, angst, and even a few of those happily-ever-afters that seem to evade us in real life.
When not writing, this gypsy-hearted wife and mother of five can be found guzzling coffee, day-dreaming, dancing for no reason at all, playing with the voices in her head, watching her favorite shows (Originals, Grey’s, OUAT, The Following), listening to music, and reminding herself to “breathe.”
Connect with Kate Givans:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KateGivans
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