BLOG TOUR : I RUN TO YOU by Jennifer Sivec

Blog Tour:

I Run to You

by

Jennifer Sivec

Mar 7th - Mar 14^th

When you think you're unlovable, how do you find the courage to love?

All of Alyssa Bennet's life, the two people who were supposed to love her the most have let her down. Anna, her best friend, and her beloved grandmother, Nona, are the only constants in her every day; that is until the unbelievably perfect Landon Daniels comes along. For the first time in her life, Alyssa begins to believe that she just might be worthy of being 
loved.

When the unexpected happens and threatens to snatch away her first chance at happiness, Alyssa must decide if she wants to continue her journey alone, or embrace the love she's always wished for.

Women's Fiction author, Jennifer Sivec explores hope, courage, and mortality in this gripping novel about one woman's struggle to discover what it means to come to terms with your past, and above all, love yourself enough to be loved.

SHARING MILK AND A LIFE

I KNEW I WAS SO SCREWED, both literally and figuratively, the second we both realized the condom had fallen off.

Not only was I mortified, but I was also grossed out. I mean, really grossed out. It wasn’t as though we got to do it all that often, and when we do, this happens?

I really felt the situation was pretty shocking, especially since it was before eight a.m., and I barely had time to shake the sleep off before I realized he was on top of me, which I thought I might like at first. Then I realized that it was Tom, and sex with him was usually awkward and not fun at all. I didn’t even know why I was here...with him...still. He wasn’t exactly the guy of my dreams, but that’s what happens when you become too comfortable with your life and stop desiring more. The first guy to call you ”honey” becomes your boyfriend, whether that was the initial plan or not. The relationship just kind of happens, and then you wake up and realize that it’s been half a decade and you are still together.

At least that’s what happened with us.

We were an odd couple, but still, by most people’s definition, a couple. He was crabby and grumpy, and I was happy and optimistic, and we didn’t really fit together at all. We just existed together for reasons neither I nor anyone else could understand, but for the time being, it worked, and nobody really scrutinized it too closely.

I knew the second we realized the condom had fallen off that things just weren’t going to end well. Tom looked at me, his light brown eyes wide, and said, “Oh, shit!” as he backed up from the condom as if it were a snake about to bite him in the nuts.

Really? That’s all he’s going to say to me about it? ‘Oh, shit!’ Well, happy freaking 25th birthday to me!

***

I knew I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself for staying with Tom in a passionless, loveless relationship. I was young and maybe even a bit lazy. I was in and out of college when I could afford it. I was completely lost in my life with no idea how to find myself, but then again, it wasn’t as though I was making much of an effort. I was tired of waiting tables, but I didn’t really know how to do anything else. Besides, it was good money, and I didn’t have a lot of options.

There was nothing I could do about the mishap at the moment. I went downstairs without even bothering to say anything to Tom. He rolled over and was already snoring, so I went into the kitchen, made some coffee and poured myself a bowl of cereal. I tried to pet our grey cat, Willow, who had just jumped on the counter to watch the coffee brew, but he scurried away from me just out of arm’s length. He stared at me with an air of disdain while he licked his paws. I hated cats. I especially hated this selfish fat cat. He didn’t want anything to do with me unless I was feeding him. Brat!

But now, all I could think about was that stupid, broken, disgusting condom.

My phone buzzed.

“Happy birthday, my lovely. Party tonight. XO Anna.” Anna was texting me first thing in the morning as she usually did.

My bestie since the first grade, Anna always remembered my birthday, usually before anyone else. I couldn’t wait to tell her what happened, but I didn’t want to do it in a text conversation. I wanted to tell her in person.

“Wait till I tell you what happened first thing this morning.”

I knew she would be shocked when I told her that Tom climbed on me since he hadn’t done so in months. But she didn’t respond, which was just as well because I didn’t really want to talk about it right now anyway. She was working, trying to be a responsible adult unlike myself, so she didn’t have time for my drama, even if it was my birthday.

It was nine a.m. and already I felt depressed. My birthday usually made me feel depressed, but not this early. It typically hit by noon, but thanks to this morning’s mishap, it was creeping up on me a lot sooner this year.

It struck me that Tom might think this morning’s disaster was my birthday present, which I could completely see! An overwhelming feeling of disdain for Tom and his stupid grey cat washed over me before I could help myself I started reflecting on our relationship, as I often did when I wasn’t happy. Tom wasn’t very nice to me. He was typically harsh and condescending, lacking a filter, no matter where he was or who he was around. Whatever he was thinking just flew out of his mouth. The other morning when he realized I forgot to buy milk, he snarled at me, “What the fuck were you thinking, Lys? How am I supposed to eat my damn cereal now? You can’t do anything right, can you?”

I cringed when it happened, but I realized that it was a typical scenario. It didn’t seem to matter if it was milk, laundry, what I made for dinner, or what I wore to the bar. Tom was always displeased about something, whether if was on my birthday or a random Thursday. I often wondered why were still together, sharing cartons of milk and a life.

And now this condom incident.